Loss of what you Identify with

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"Change can be a blessing or a curse, depending on your perspective" - Spencer Johnson

One thing is certain life is always constantly changing. Sometimes we hardly notice the changes that take place and at other times, try as we might, we find it difficult to bounce back. One of the aspects of this type of change is a temporary loss of identity in relation to "this is who I am, and this is what I do". This type of change can occur several times throughout our lifetime.

Sometimes this type change is of our own doing and sometimes it will be forced on us.

• The birth of your first child - and the changes it will mean to your life.
• When we leave home or buy our first home.
• When our parents, or a child dies - and the void this leaves.
• The loss of a partner - through divorce or death.
• When children leave home - the role of parent changes.
• Changing our job - either forced or by our own choice.
• Menopause - It is not called "the change if life" for nothing.

And many, many more life situations - some great, some small.

Any type of change situation can cause a temporary loss of identity as our internal reality for a time does not match the outer reality of what is happening - sometimes to the extent of throwing your existence into turmoil as you search for a new reality.

At other times the pieces don't come together smoothly and this can leave us feeling vulnerable, afraid to move, or make decisions, as part of you feels lost until a new meaning and way to relate can be found. This is all a natural part of an evolving life.

The problem comes only if you allow yourself to remain stuck within change with a tendency to live in the past with no thought for the future. If the change experienced has been a particularly traumatic experience expert help may be required to see you through.

If the changes happening in your life have simply left you wondering "what's next"  or "what now" then a simple way I have found is to ask yourself "What is waiting for me in my life now". On a sheet of paper write as fast as you can anything that may surface. Do not try to put any thought into the writing, just write. You would be surprised as to what may come up as your "true" self emerges along with the forgotten dreams, hopes and wishes for your life.

To completely break the cycle and start moving forward again you must of take action.

It is the things we do, not the things we don't do, that writes the chapters of our life until the very last chapter is finally written.

Living Mindfully