Holiday Etiquette

Home Page > Christmas

Holiday Etiquette - Simple Tips for a Perfect Gathering

You’ve spent the entire day cooking the perfect holiday feast. But it’s an hour before your guests arrive, and you find yourself standing in front of the table, listening to a little nagging voice in your head. Does the knife go on the left, fork on the right, or is it the other way around? Is that centrepiece too tall? Should I go ahead and put food on table before guests arrive, or do I wait until everyone gets here?

If you can’t answer those questions, don’t feel alone. In today’s eat-on-the-run world, you’re not the only one to flunk the dos and don’ts of proper etiquette. “Proper table manners have become a lost art,” says etiquette expert Jill Slatter. “Think back 15 or 20 years ago, families gathered every evening for a proper meal. But these days we’re all stretched so thin juggling work, school and home, most folks don’t have time to sit down together, so when holidays roll around no one’s sure how to act at a formal meal.”

Slatter is an etiquette coach at Greensboro, N.C. based Replacements, Ltd., the world’s largest supplier of old and new china, silver, crystal and collectibles. The company gets bombarded with questions this time of year from folks looking for a crash course in proper table manners. She says the answers to their most frequently asked questions are sure to help you dazzle your guests.

Set the Perfect Table

• Forks to the left, knives and spoons to the right. Only set out utensils that will be used for various courses. “If you’re not serving soup or salad, you certainly don’t want an extra spoon or fork in your place setting,” Slatter says. “Not only will those get in the way, the extra utensils may confuse your guests.”

• The bread plate goes on the left of the dinner plate, glasses on the right.

• Wait to pour. Water glasses should be the only glasses filled before your guests arrive. Iced tea, wine and other beverages should be poured once everyone is seated. Wine should be filled halfway, not to the rim.

• Salad and bread should be the only food on the table when your guests arrive.

• Courses are generally served in the following order in the United States: appetizer, soup, salad, main course, dessert.

Be a Gracious Guest

• Avoid the smear. Female guests should blot their lips before sitting down at the table. This will keep you from getting lipstick stains on linen napkins or glasses, which could be hard to get out.

• Wait for the signal. Your host will let you know when it’s okay to dig in. They may make a prayer or statement or start by passing a dish.

• If you’re not sure which utensil to use with each course, start on the outside and work in toward the plate. If you’re still not sure, watch your host.

• Don’t cut more than one or two bites of food at a time, and never butter an entire roll or piece of bread. Instead, pinch off pieces small enough for one or two bites and butter those first.

• What about those scraps? Neatly push leftover food, fat trimmings, etc. to one side of your plate.

• If you don’t care for coffee, simply say “no thank you.” Turning your cup upside down may be considered rude.

• If you need to excuse yourself temporarily, gently place your napkin in your chair. Signify you’re finished with the meal by placing napkin to the left of the dinner plate. “Most folks aren’t sure what to do with their utensils once they have finished eating,” adds Slatter. “The common way to show that you've finished your meal is to lay your fork and knife diagonally across your plate at ten and four o’clock. Place your knife and fork side by side, with the sharp side of the knife blade facing inward and the fork, tines down, to the left of the knife.”

Are You the Hostess with the Mostest

• Remember, the hostess is always last seated.

• Unscented candles are a great part of holiday decor, but should only be lit during the evening. “Another thing to keep in mind, flickering candles are more than a distraction, those can cause headaches,” warns Slatter. “That’s why you never want to place burning candles directly in front of your guest, and make sure you situate the flame below eye level.”

• Centrepiece too tall? Sure those flowers you spent hours arranging are pretty, but will only get in the way if your guests have to crane their necks to look at each other. Make sure your guests can see over any table adornments.

• Passing isn’t just in football. Always pass food around the table counter clockwise to the right and refrain from serving yourself first. Always pass the salt and pepper as a set, even if you’re only asked for one.

If you’re still in doubt, a cheat sheet is just a mouse click away. You can find place setting guides outlining the correct layout for all meals at replacements.com, under the site’s “neat things” tab. With these tips in mind, you’re sure to throw the perfect holiday gathering.

Courtesy of ARA content

Christmas - Christmas Art